In between 2014 and 2016, something happened in Morgantown at West Virginia University. 3 friend groups from Beckley, Elkins, and Lewisburg collided to create the sort of gang that only comes around once, maybe twice a millennium. We shared the same sense of lost belonging; we had just blown in from Stupidtown, and there wasn’t a wealth of vacancy. We bonded over everything, from Mountaineer athletics, and the constant demise thereof, to pickup basketball, women, drugs, classwork….mostly beer.
Smooth Brain Sports was started years later, in 2021, as a means of carrying our shared spirit forward. We don’t know where we’ll go, and we don’t know what we’ll write, as only two things are for certain: our torch is bright, our brains are smooth as glass.
RYAN HENSON – 5’8″ 165 lbs
Hometown: Columbia, South Carolina
Education: Elkins High, West Virginia Wesleyan, WVU
Accolades: Can’t get drunk
Julian Kincaid – 6’2″ 180 lbs
Hometown: Lewisburg, West Virginia
Education: Greenbrier East High, WVU
Accolades: Sponsored by Miller Lite due in part to his unwavering appraisal of Dale
SHILAJEET RAY – 5’7″ 150 lbs
Hometown: Morgantown, West Virginia
Education: Morgantown High, WVU, Boston U
Accolades:
JACOB MARSH – 5’11” 190 lbs
Hometown: Philippi, West Virginia
Education: Philip Barbour High, WVU
Accolades: Number 1 Fortnite player US-EAST
ISAIAH GODFREY – 6’3″ 215 lbs
Hometown: Lewisburg, West Virginia
Education: Greenbrier East High, WVU
Accolades: Involved in 6 separate yet competing syndicates
TIMOFEI KHARISOV – 6’3″ 180 lbs
Hometown: Hinton, West Virginia
Education: Summers County High, Keen, WVU, Pitt
Accolades: Russian Asset
LUKE ROWSEY – 6’1″ 240 lbs
Hometown: Lewisburg, West Virginia
Education: Greenbrier East High, WVU, Old Dominion
Accolades: Best Hips in the Shenandoah Valley
ADRI PERSAD – 5’11 160 lbs
Hometown: Shepherdstown, West Virginia
Education: Jefferson County High, WVU
Accolades: Fluent in Esperanto
LUCAS THOMPSON – 5’11” 170 lbs
Hometown: Beckley, West Virginia
Education: Shady Spring High, WVU
Accolades: Can stare further than you, beyond the future
LINKOLN BARGER – 5’10” 155 lbs
Hometown: Elkins, West Virginia
Education: Elkins High, WVU
Accolades: Knew Drake was going to be this big in 2007
KAREEM KHIAMI – 6’2″ 270 lbs
Hometown: Beckley, West Virginia
Education: Woodrow Wilson High, WVU, KCU
Accolades: Is outside in an AMG, like, right outside, TT
NICKLAUS HELMICK – 5’11” 165 lbs
Hometown: Lewisburg, West Virginia
Education: Greenbrier East High, WVU
Accolades: Never once thought about not being a Cincinnati Bengals / New York Knicks fan
MARCUS KISNER – 5’8″ 135 lbs
Hometown: Coalton, West Virginia
Education: Elkins High, Shepherd University
Accolades: Can keep a beat through a hurricane
CAMERON LANE – 5’11” 185 lbs
Hometown: Beckley, West Virginia
Education: Woodrow Wilson High, WVU
Accolades: Believes he can bench 315
NICKLAUS BARTUSIAK – 5’11” 195 lbs
Hometown: Shady Spring, West Virginia
Education: Shady Spring High, WVU
Accolades: Knows, is involved with, and talks to “electricity”
KADIN BURRIS – 6’1″ 170 lbs
Hometown: Lewisburg, West Virginia
Education: Greenbrier East High, WVU
Accolades: “Vegas Bomb” shot is now dubbed as “Burris Bomb” in Monongalia Co.
JOSEPH SEVERINO – 5’10” 150 lbs
Hometown: Elkins, West Virginia
Education: Elkins High, WVU
Accolades: Actually will one day have a Pulitzer Prize
TRENT SMITH – 5’10” 155 lbs
Hometown: Hendricks, West Virginia
Education: Tucker County High, WVU
Accolades: First white man from Tucker County to receive the word pass
COREY CRUMM – 6’0″ 170 lbs
Hometown: Elkins, West Virginia
Education: Elkins High, WVU
Accolades: North-Central WV Tweeter of the Year (Runner-up) 2011-2012